Sleepless is Nokyang Dong

I'm wide awake at 2:47am... this can't be good...

I've been praying for a long time that my focus will be on God first, yet I haven't taken every measure to let go of some things that have been hindering that focus. Yesterday, I was hit face first with one of the things that has been hindering my focus. Something that by any account is considered good. However, I took that good thing and I clung to it in hopes of it becoming mine. What I didn't realize though was that I had put my hope in that thing. That's bad.

It's pretty rough, when you realize the truth about yourself. Initially you want to blame other people, but eventually you see, you were the one who lost their way, who lost their focus. Once you realize that, you feel like the world is about to fall out from under your feet, you feel like there is no solid place to stand. I'm so thankful for friends and a Momma who understand your pain, who listen to you cry, who point you to the One who understands it all.

After those conversations, I poured my heart out to God. Not asking why things are the way they are, but asking why I always lose my focus, why I allow my heart to hope for the temporary and not the Eternal. In response He filled my heart and my mind with His word...

A text from another friend:
Isaiah 40:31
31but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

The verse on my journal page:
Psalm 33:20 (Italics mine)
My soul waits for the Lord; He is my help and my shield.

Favorite verses painted, sitting by my bedroom door:
Psalm 94:14
When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.

Psalm 37:23
The steps of a man are established by the Lord, and He delights in his way.

Verses that came to mind:
James 4:8
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.


I went to sleep repeating these over and over. Then I woke up at 2:15am - thoughts running rampant - now I'll try to sleep again with this verse in my heart and mind.

Psalm 39:7 But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in You.

I may have lost my focus and tried to place my hope in the temporary, but I know and will continue to remind myself that my hope is not built on the temporary, my hope is in Christ alone. The one and only firm foundation. The Solid Rock.