Humility

I've been reading this tiny book that was given to me from a dear friend, it's called Humility: The Journey Toward Holiness. It's written by Andrew Murray. As I've read I have been reminded of many things. However, it wasn't until this evening, as I sit here pondering how I'm gonna do it all - no I'm not superwoman I realize the enormous amount of help I need - was I really hit with new information. Here are some quotes that stand out to me:
"The great test of the holiness we profess to seek or to attain is truth and life will be whether it is manifest in the increasing humility it produces. In the individual, humility is the one thing needed to allow God's holiness to dwell in and shine through him or her. In Jesus - the Holy One of God, who makes us holy - divine humility was the secret of His life, His death, and His exaltation. The one infallible test of our holiness will be our humility before God and others. Humility is the bloom and the beauty of holiness."
Wow, is God's holiness dwelling in and shining through me? Can it be seen in my interaction with others? I don't think so. Have I let "pride creep in where its presence is least expected"? Yes.

What about in the Church?
"Pride can clothe itself in the garments of praise or of penitence. Even though the words, 'I am not as other men' are rejected and condemed, their spirit may too often be found in our feelings and language toward other fellow worshipers and fellowmen. If you wonder if this is so, listen to the way Christians speak of one another. How little of the meekness and gentleness of Jesus is seen. It is seldom remembered that deep humility must be the keynote of what we say of ourselves or of each other. There are countless assemblies of saints, mission coventions, societies, or committees, where the harmony has been disturbed and the work of God hindered because of men (women,too) who are counted saint are touch and impatient, self-defensive and self assertive to the point of sharp judgements and unkind words. They do not reckon others better than themselves, and their holiness has little meekness to it"
This reminds me of a sermon I heard this summer, just before I left on mission to Nebraska. My pastor preached on serving others. He used Matthew 8: 1 - 6, where the disciples asked Jesus who was the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. His reply if you don't humble yourself and become like little children, you'll never even see the kingdom of heaven. My pastor explained, that the greek meaning behind the text didn't actually mean little kids, but people of a low status. So according to this passage, I need to change my status - to become small every day, willing to serve all. Humility.
Murray goes on to quote Mrs. Smith in Everyday Religion, "'Me' is a most exacting person, requiring the best seat and the highest place for itself, and feeling grievously wounded if its claim is not recognized. Most of the quarrells among Christian workers arise from the clamoring of the gigantic 'me." How few of us understand the true secret of taking our seats in the lowest rooms."
My favorite quote from this chapter is "humility is nothing but the disappearance of self in the vision that God is all."
The chapter goes on and is filled with even more eye opening reminders. However, I might get in trouble if I typed it all out, but I am thankful for the words. What a reminder!
God has called me to serve in many different capacities. Because of my lack of humility and my overflowing heart of pride, I am often in danger of thinking that I am capable of any of it on my own. Forgive me Lord, for ever thinking that I am worthy of anything, for thinking I am able to do anything. Only You are worthy, only You are able.