Letting go

I knew she wouldn't be here forever, but I wasn't quite ready to let her go. It was her time though. She lived a long and full life. One full of love and forgiveness. A true servant of Christ. Always willing to serve others or help them inanyway she could. Always wanting the Gospel to be spread throughout the world. One who supported me whole heartedly in my desire to live and serve in Korea. She always said to me, "Kris, I love you and I miss you so much . I would love for you to be here with me, but you need to be where you have been called." Even here at the end, when I was struggling to say goodbye to her sister, my great Aunt Audrey, she said, "Audrey knows that you love her and she knows you need to go. I know you want to be here to support me, but I am okay. I will miss her, but I don't want my sister to suffer." Always concerned about the welfare of others, above her own.

Right before she had her stroke, I called her in the hospital and fell apart - and not having a clue that I was really saying goodbye to her - she said to me, "Baby I'm alright, I don't want you to worry about me, you need to worry about your teaching." I laughed and said, "Are you crazy? Of course I will worry about you." Shortly after she had two strokes and then a couple of days later, she was gone.

While I am sad and feel that gaping hole in my heart, I also am covered with peace that can only come from my Father above. I rejoice in knowing that my grandmother is now in eternity with my granddaddy and my great aunt and all the other saints who have gone before.

Memories...

One of my earliest memories of my grandparents is from when I was a very little girl. I remember we had a really big snow (not very common here in Arkansas) and my grandmother and I went out to collect a huge bowl full of snow. We collected that huge bowl of snow to make snow cream. It was a delicious, snowy treat. As far as I know it was the only time in my life I've ever had it.

Every year for my birthday, while she could, my grandmother made my favorite meal for my birthday - chicken strips, mashed potatoes, mac & cheese, rolls, and broccoli or salad. Followed up by my absolute birthday favorite - ice cream cake. (And we wonder why I have issues with insulin, ha) and Grandmother didn't go to Baskin Robbins and buy one, she spent hours making one from scratch.

Another memory from early in my life, a memory of which I was reminded this past summer when I went to Nebraska for a mission trip, was my grandparents hosting a backyard bible club in their apartment. There "yard" was so tiny, yet they made room for the neighborhood kids to come in and hear about God's love in a fun and safe environment. This summer, we used the same materials from that time in Nebraska doing Backyard Bible Clubs. What memories it brought back.

One of my most recent memories was from this summer, when Grandmother and I were driving back home from church listening to old school country, belting out Conway Twitty's Baby's Got Her Blue Jeans On. I was singing along and then all of a sudden I hear my grandmother belting it out with me. How fun.

I love hearing people talk about my grandparents. So many people I know, remember my granddaddy's faithful service as a church bus driver. I remember as a little girl going with my grandmother to visit the camp that he drove some youth or kids group to. The day that we visited, Grandmother and I got to join in making the crafts for the day. I have no idea what that craft was, but I remember the time with them.

My grandmother always had a way of making me laugh. She had a very sarcastic sense of humor (as does most of my family... I think we know where it comes from) this summer, when I had to fix her hair for something - b/c my mom had gone earlier - and I totally butchered it. I told her I failed as a granddaughter b/c I couldn't do her hair. She laughed and said, nah I couldn't do hair either, that's evidence that you are my granddaughter. Just ask your mom and Aunt Donna. I couldn't do their hair either. lol

I could go on and on listing memory after memory. However, I will stop. I am so grateful for the life of my grandmother. I am so thankful that despite the years and hard times my grandmother never gave up. Her hope was eternal. She wanted all of us grandkids to know that too. My grandmother always, always prayed for her family. In the last few years, when Grandmother would stay with us, we shared the same bed. I used to think of myself as her body guard, lol. We would go to bed and we would talk and then when she was ready to sleep she would say, I'm gonna talk to Jesus now. She didn't know that I could hear her, but I heard her praying for each of her children and grandchildren. Even in those time when she didn't tell me she was going to pray, I could hear her. What a precious thing to know that you are daily prayed for and loved regardless of your bad attitudes and how far away you are.

I want to be like that - loving others regardless, praying for others daily, serving others and being a hard worker.

Grandmother you are loved and you are missed. Thank you for the life you lived.